Apple Announces Revolutionary Apple Water

Posted on January 24, 2011 by

Okay, before you get too excited, this is just a joke. This is the latest fake product by the geniuses over at Scoopertino. I thought it was pretty funny and worth sharing.

From Scoopertino:

Cupertino, CA — Step aside, Perrier. Prepare for oblivion, Poland Spring. After steamrolling the music player, smartphone and tablet markets, Apple is out to disrupt a whole new category.

Today Apple announced Apple Water — a cool refreshment made for those willing to suspend all logic and pay the price for Apple’s lavish attention to quality and design.

“If you’ve been drinking the juice, you’re ready to drink the water,” proclaims Apple’s website.

Like iPod, iPhone and iPad, Apple Water is part of a closed ecosystem. By breaking the seal, you accept a User Agreement that prohibits refilling the container with tap water, spring water or any unauthorized third-party water.

“We’ve heard people say ‘there must be something in the water over there,’” said Apple spokesperson Lindsay Grebner, “and there is. We’re happy to share our water with fans all over the world.”

Apple Water is indeed an Apple-lover’s dream — pure, clean H2O, captured in Apple-designed containers from the central irrigation spigot at Apple’s corporate headquarters.

AAPL stock soared on the announcement today. Analyst Gene Munster of Piper Jaffray raised his target price to $500, noting the low cost of materials and customers “endless thirst and inscrutable need” for all things Apple.

A 16-ounce container of Apple Water retails for $9.99. Apple Water Pro, a five-gallon jug, is only $49.99.


Comments (1,308)


  1. graphicsgamer says:

    @MacDaddyNews thing is if apple wanted to do this it would probably sell. Apple is one of the best at branding.

  2. MacDaddyNews says:

    @graphicsgamer they’d probably just come out with an app that lets you drink real water from your iPhone. maybe the iPhone 7.

  3. graphicsgamer says:

    @MacDaddyNews that’s a good idea. Call it iHydrate.

  4. Shukmadeekash Gugel-Curry says:

    hahahaha so true about the company with partially consumed fruit in their logo :P
    Please don’t bring this water to Zumba with Kasia :D