Apple’s Ping Attracts 78th Member, Rolls Toward 100
Posted on July 10, 2011 by eli courey
Scoopertino has come out with another great mock new article about Apple. This one is about Ping, Apple’s not so popular social network for music fans.
CUPERTINO, CA — It’s a miracle that Apple’s servers haven’t melted under the onslaught.
After a shaky start, music fans are now flocking to Ping, the iTunes music community. At the current rate, Apple predicts they’ll be signing up their 100th member on September 20th — just after Ping’s one-year birthday.
And they’re going to stage the mother of all celebrations.
Banners are going up at Apple headquarters. A bandstand is taking shape in the center of campus. Rumors are flying that a well-known band will perform as part of the festivities — possibly even the Earthworms.
Apple’s many supporters are already getting into the spirit.
Gilbert Wong, mayor of Cupertino, has announced that all city employees will be given the day off on September 20th so they can attend the Ping Parade on De Anza Blvd.
In Washington, the White House confirmed that President Obama will designate September 20th as National Ping Day to commemorate the historic event.
The relentless march toward 100 picked up steam yesterday as Edith Warbuck, a Toledo widow, signed on to become member #78.
“I like to listen to music in solitude,” says Edith, “so I love the idea of a music community where I can be alone with my thoughts.”
While Ping continues to delight literally dozens of music fans, studies show it may be having a detrimental effect in the workplace. Since the launch of Ping, U.S. productivity has fallen .000000000212%, as workers feed their hunger for Ping during business hours.