iQuit: Apple Stops Making Everything it Makes

Posted on January 31, 2012 by

Before you have a heart attack, this is just a joke. Scoopertino, our favorite site for fake Apple news, has written a very funny article about Apple’s decision to get out of the revolution business and just “take the money and run.”

According to CEO Tim Cook, Apple just faced the biggest decision in its history. Now valued at over $400 billion, with a cash reserve of over $98 billion, it could keep spending time and money creating things — or it could simply cash out and live off the interest.

“I don’t have to think too hard about that one,” says Cook.

Effective immediately, there will be no more iPhones, iPads, iPods, iMacs or iAnything. Without ever touching the principle, all Apple employees will continue to earn their current salaries for the rest of their natural lives.

Head on over to Scoopertino to read the full article.

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